When it comes to hiring household staff, finding the right people means more than matching a resume to a position. It’s about building trust, knowing your home’s rhythms, and recognizing how each position will shape your family’s day-to-day life.
From managing multiple estates to staffing for a pied-à-terre, your hiring process must be deliberate, confidential, and designed to support your lifestyle without disruption.
This process is especially relevant for households working with private household staffing professionals or families considering hiring a domestic couple for multi-functional roles.
Hiring Household Staff in 12 Steps
Identify the Gaps in Your Household
Start by assessing where you need support. Every residence functions differently. For this reason, it’s important to reflect on what’s falling through the cracks or what tasks are consuming more of your time than you’d like.
Are you constantly adjusting to rotating nannies? Do you need someone who can maintain your calendar, prep meals, or manage vendors while you travel? Knowing your needs is the basis for successful private hiring.
The structure may look different for every client, especially those interested in millennial employee management, where flexibility and mutual respect take on a whole new meaning.
Determine the Structure of Your Staff
Once you’ve identified what’s needed, consider how many roles your home requires, and how those positions may overlap. In some households, a single individual handles several tasks with grace and reliability. In others, it takes a team of specialists working in sync.
At this stage, many high-net-worth families explore private household staffing firms to consult on structure and scale. An experienced advisor can help you decide if a house manager, personal chef, or rotating security presence is appropriate for your setting.
Clarify the Job Before You Search
Ambiguity is the fastest route to a bad hire. Before you begin interviews, outline exactly what each position involves. This includes work hours, responsibilities, boundaries, and communication preferences.
Do you expect flexibility on weekends? Will the staff member travel with the family? Is discretion a top priority? Clarity avoids misalignment and helps candidates self-select into a job that fits their own expectations.
Consider Hiring a Domestic Couple
For large properties or multigenerational homes, hiring a domestic couple can offer consistency across diverse household needs. These pairs often share a long-term working relationship (or are married) and have developed a rhythm that allows them to cover broad duties like groundskeeping, cooking, cleaning, maintenance, and more.
Their shared communication and adaptability can minimize friction and improve stability, especially in seasonal or multiple-property arrangements.
Vet Experience with Discretion in Mind
In private homes, past experience matters but discretion often matters more. Look for candidates who’ve worked in similar households and maintained long-term placements. While references are a standard part of hiring, the quality of those references (especially from families who mirror your own structure) can offer deeper insight.
It’s also valuable to consider how a candidate speaks about past positions. Professionalism in their stories can reveal how they approach confidentiality, boundaries, and loyalty.
Interview for Character, Not Just Skills
Skills can be taught, but character cannot. Use the interview to uncover how a candidate thinks, not just what they can do. Ask how they approach conflict, how they handled a moment they were asked to do something unexpected, or what they value in a workplace.
The right candidate should blend into your home, showing both competence and emotional intelligence.
Millennial Employee Management
Today’s workforce includes a rising number of young professionals entering domestic roles. Millennial employee management requires a shift in mindset for many private employers. Younger candidates often look for purpose, feedback, and balance.
They want to be part of a household where their contributions are respected, and where expectations are clearly communicated. When employers work with millennial staff as collaborators rather than subordinates, the result is often a longer, more committed working relationship.
Consider Cultural Fit Over Convenience
Sometimes, the “most available” candidate is not the right fit. Cultural alignment (how someone fits with your lifestyle, pace, and values) can matter more than technical prowess. A highly skilled chef who doesn’t comprehend your family’s preferences may not last long.
A housekeeper who struggles to adapt to a rotating schedule will create friction. Instead, look for individuals whose demeanor, pace, and discretion line up naturally with your household energy.
Finalize Contracts with Precision
Once you’ve chosen a candidate, formalize the arrangement with a clearly written contract. Define everything from hours and responsibilities to housing arrangements (if applicable), dress codes, and time off.
This document isn’t just about legal protection; it’s a tool that sets expectations from day one. It helps eliminate guesswork, resentment, and assumptions that can build over time.
Start the Relationship with Intention
How you onboard your new household staff member sets the tone for the entire relationship. Take time to walk them through your home’s routines, introduce them to other team members, and explain your expectations calmly and openly.
Early communication builds trust and helps avoid misunderstandings. Don’t wait until a problem arises to set standards. Lead with clarity, and you’ll often gain a more dedicated, efficient team member in return.
Stay Involved Without Micromanaging
Even the most experienced staff benefit from regular check-ins. That doesn’t mean watching their every move. Instead, schedule time to hear feedback, offer praise, and realign any tasks that may have drifted.
Being approachable while maintaining firm expectations creates a healthy working environment that values accountability. Households that retain long-term staff tend to treat them as professionals rather than background labor.
Recognize When a Change Is Needed
Not every hire will be a perfect match, even with the most thoughtful process. If your staff member isn’t adapting or the position progresses beyond their comfort zone, it may be time to consider a replacement.
Pay attention to patterns of miscommunication, repeated errors, or ongoing tension. Making a change may feel uncomfortable, but it’s often the best decision for both parties in the long run.
How The Calendar Group Can Help
The Calendar Group has built a reputation on more than matching people to positions. We support families in building private teams that reflect their values, vision, and pace of life.
Since our founding in 2002, we’ve supported clients through every phase of household development, from first hires to full staff restructuring. Our background in private household staffing allows us to offer insight where others offer only resumes.
We treat every family like a long-term partner, not a transaction. We learn your routines, listen closely, and present only candidates we would hire ourselves.
Whether you’re hiring a domestic couple or looking for guidance on millennial employee management, we bring a customized, thoughtful process shaped by decades of experience.
Our clients trust us to help them move forward with confidence, discretion, and clarity, no matter how complex their staffing needs may be. If you’re ready to begin hiring household staff the right way, we’re ready to help.
Feel free to reach out to The Calendar Group. We’d be happy to support your next private hire.
